LIFE: De-clutter and get paaaaid

Posted on Jan 4 2015 - 5:58pm by Alex

I’m an overly sentimental guy. Seriously, if I had a meaningful conversation with someone while leaning on a fence, I’d want to take a piece of that fence home with me and stick it in a scrapbook. It’s fucking weird. If a child chucks a teddy bear across a room, I’ll pick the teddy up when no one is looking, give it a little hug, whisper to it, saying something like “I’m sure the kid didn’t mean to throw you across the room” and place it (in a comfortable position), back on the shelf. Now look, I know the teddy bear isn’t real, I know it doesn’t have feelings…but the idea that that teddy bear is in anyway feeling shit about what happened to it, BREAKS MY FRAGILE HEART…and I can’t pretend it doesn’t. For whatever reason, I find meaning in the most inanimate of objects.

In fact, thinking about it, when I was a kid, I had this AWESOME stuffed toy-whale that looked like Shamu…you know, killer whale vibes…this sort of thing:

The love of my life

The actual love of my life

This dude went EVERYWHERE with me: party at a friends house? WHALE. Exams at school? WHALE. Spot of shopping with my mum? WHALE! First date? WHALE (not really). The world can be a horrendous, malicious place and at some point along the way, I lost that whale, I have a distant memory of it falling out of my window on a motorway or something like that…but I can’t really remember, I’ve pushed the memory deep down inside of the darkest part of my subconscious to prevent myself from falling into a pit of everlasting despair. IMAGINE HOW I FELT WHEN I WATCHED BLACKFISH…oh, my, whaley, days. BOOOM! Right in the feels. God, if I watched Toy Story and Blackfish on the same day I think my world might crumble.

Anyway, so the point is, because of my deep attachments to things, I just HATE getting rid of stuff! So, I hoard…I hoard, HARD. My house is stacked high with shit I don’t need, will never use, and probably won’t ever look at and I don’t know if it’s because I’ve just been to the “home of design” (Copenhagen in Denmark) – with it’s uber fashionable, minimalist approach to living…or if I’m just getting older and more cynical/realistic about things – but, either way, I finally realised/decided, that there was just too much clutter in my life and that I needed to sort it the hell out.

I posted up on twitter about it and loads of people got in touch saying “OMG I NEED YOUR HELP! HOW DO YOU DO IT?” etc. Well, I’m still in the process of doing it, but just look out for “De-Clutter your life” posts and you can do it with me! I started out though with my DVDs.

A fraction of the, frankly, ridiculous amount of DVDs that I've amassed over the years.

A fraction of the, frankly, ridiculous amount of DVDs that I’ve amassed over the years.


I had like over 500 of this bad boys and literally NEVER watched them…like ever. I’ve now slimmed my collection down to  20 or so (which I’ll blog about at some point) – but “what happened to the rest of them” I hear you cry? I sold them on Music Magpie (download the app, you just scan the barcodes of the stuff you wanna sell and then post it all off to them for free…the money you get per disc is SO LAME, but it all adds up!). I made about £200, and bought a sweet new camera (not that I know how to use it yet), so I can capture some actual real memories….rather than just saying “OOOOH I CAN’T GET RID OF ABOUT A BOY ON DVD, IT REMINDS ME OF A REALLY FUN EVENING I SPENT WITH AN EX-GIRLFRIEND” – oooh whatever Alex, time to grow up!